Poems by Christine Magee

“I’ve bared my soul in this, and what happens here has made me shy away from the public eye. I wrote it on a bad, sad day and in self pity; but I want to share it because there are more people in the UK suffering from epilepsy than there are diabetes, for example, and there is still stygma and much fear atttached to it. Therefore, I feel sufferers themselves should try to promote a better understanding.” —Christine Magee

Woke up fine, think I’ll go
Should be fine
You never know
In I go, feeling daring
Lights flicker
Noise blaring
Speech clear, thinking straight
Feeling brave
Though this I hate
Walk around, start the shopping
Head held high
Never stopping
Light headed, losing time
You can tell . . .
No more rhyme

Oh no, not here
Eye twitching
Mouth now
Hand, leg, foot numb
Get out fast
Where’s the door
Too late . . .
On the floor

I can hear distant voices
Dimly see gawping faces
Noises, noises, distant noises

Where’s my skirt
Round my waist?
Pull it down
Please
Now, please
Wipe my mouth
Please
Let me sleep
Please
Let me hide please
I want to die please

“Would she like a glass of water?”
I’m not deaf, ask me
Please, get me out of here
Don’t need help, can do it myself

Where’s the dignity?

Get up, smile
Head up straight
Smile
Crookedly
Walk out of the shop
Crookedly
One on each side . . .
Some people are kind

Shopping’s done
Shopping’s fun
E has won
Time to sleep
Control to keep
The pain runs deep
Now I weep
Now I weep