It was a short letter . . . just two hand-written pages . . . filled with regret, self-recrimination and apologies. I didn’t know what to make of it at first, and I could feel anger rising . . . why is he writing to me? . . . as if it took a lot of nerve of him to bother me with his problems.

I believe he is sincere; I know him well enough to know he would not take the time to write if what he had to say did not come from the heart. I feel compassion for this man who once was my husband. He is, after all, the father of my children. It was his choice to leave, and it is always sad when the choices one makes do not bring true happiness.

It’s been a long time since our divorce. I’ve moved on with my life and have put the past behind where it is nothing more than a memory. Wishing him the same peace won’t make it happen, but I can’t seem to find words that will.

It was all the sadder knowing my little ones were on the other side of the door wanting to know, “Mommy, you OK?” I learned quickly to deal with my anger, tears, and fears. I learned to pretend that everything was OK—to suffer in silence—for the sake of my children. I realize now there are some circumstances over which we have no control; and, though we cannot control the actions of others, we CAN control our reaction to them. Lesson learned? Maybe. I’ve grown much in the five years since my divorce, and I like to think I’m a smart woman; but then again, I did waste the better part of last year beating myself senseless over a man who didn’t care a hill of beans about me.

I believe the past is important only inasmuch as it explains WHY we are WHERE we are in our lives. I feel blessed for a lot of reasons. The pain I’ve experienced in the past helped bring me to this place. I’m a better person for it . . . stronger, more capable than ever and confident. I’m now able to recognize and better appreciate the blessings surrounding me. I’ve learned I can love completely and deeply, and be hurt without hate or bitterness. This was an important lesson. Forgiveness was the key. When we can forgive others for being only human, we can forgive ourselves, too . . . thus allowing the healing to take hold, the heart to open, and happiness to enter.